esmerelda in residence

New years eve

No better way to spend New Year's Eve than to watch Mr H telling a surly store clerk to take the piece of warped overpriced wood & shove it up his arse (the clerks arse, not Mr H's). Politely, of course. May your new year be free of surly clerks & all your wood not warped

here's hoping

you got everything you wanted for Christmas. I know I did. 

Today is to be the start of "renovations - part deux" . As Mr H already has his nose stuck in a book we will see how we go. We have 10 days to completely strip and re-do the master bedroom. Probably being a bit ambitious but that's the time frame available.

In other news - the new gadget received in the christmas stocking allows for blogging from the train, perhaps the amount of posts will increase, perhaps not, but the option is now there. 

Of course the new gadget means I will have to re-enter every fucking phone number formerly stored on the old phone, plus I have lost my favorite ringtone (thunderstruck) as I can't figure out a way to get it from old phone to new phone - any iphone gurus out there? 

Great minds think alike - I sent the sis in law the menu for Christmas Eve dinner (alaskan king crab & roast lamb) and she sent back her menu (rack of lamb & fresh prawns) - hope her dinner was a yummy as mine. 

the party

This year's event wasn't nearly as stressful as last year - Santa showed up on time so no threats of  mob violence by kids wanting Santa (I still have nightmares about that) however during the course of the party it became obvious to me that not everyone understands the phrase " Parents must SUPERVISE THIER CHILDREN AT ALL TIMES".  Based on what I saw the preceding phrase means (to some) " I should stay in same room as my child, but allow said child to wander around getting into trouble whilst I sit on my fat arse and chat to all my friends - it doesn't matter that my child is only 1.5 years old and is racing around playing with sharp objects and generally creating havoc....no, no, no - that nice lady who is in charge of the party will run after my child and see that child isn't injured because we all know that no matter what she says the nice lady in charge really likes little kids and has nothing else to do". 

Amazing, really, how people perceive things differently. 

and so he goes

Whenever the husband greets you with the words "there's been an accident" you know something has gone amiss. 

So, when I woke from my nap (there has been copious amounts of napping going on the past few weeks) on Saturday, and was greeted with those words, I thought " uh-oh" (hey - it takes a while before the brain kicks into gear). 

Reg, the last living lorikeet that graced the Hamwich household, made a successful break for freedom. I knew he missed Nigel & Arthur. Hell, I missed Nigel & Arthur. Reg used to kvetch away in lorikeet - quite loudly I might add - making the entire suburb aware of his dissatisfaction. Anyway, when Mr H was giving Reg some clean water with the cage door open; Scarlet jumped up against the cage, the door flew open, Reg saw his opportunity and flew out of the cage into the magnolia tree whereupon he sat for a few seconds and told Mr H to fuck off with his clean water (in lorikeet, of course) and then took off . 

Reg was last seen chasing after a few rainbow loris. 

Godspeed Reg. 

question of the week

Scarlet causes ructions when people walk past the house. She's picky about who she will bark at - the fat guy that walks at a moderate pace (while smoking a ciggie) doesn't rate a bark; the woman who walks her boxer each morning and evening rates full blown alerts. 

So, yesterday evening when I heard Ms Scarlet barking up a storm I didn't pay too much attention. Then I heard "hello? hello?" 

Standing at the end of the driveway were 4 little kids, the youngest a girl about 2 - all of them cute as buttons. 

The Older Brother said to me - "she wants to pet the dog" - pointing to the 2 year old. 

So I brought Scarlet out to meet the kids. 

As they were being introduced, Older Brother asked me, in all seriousness "What kind of dog is she? Is she a Russell Crowe? Because my friend has a Russell Crowe and his dog looks just like this one. Only the colour is different." 

me: Do you mean a Jack Russell? 

Older Brother: Yeah! A Russell Crowe!

me: No. A Jack Russell. 

Older Brother: Yeah! I always get them mixed up.

Yeah kid, me too.